Murasakige: No One Else
by Nate Grey
Summary: Yamagi finally becomes a Pilot, only to find that Tukasa is resigning as his Repairer.


Notes: I always figured someone would do a story like this.  I just didn't realize it would be me.  

You might notice that I never actually mention who Yamagi's replacing, or what Ingrid he's going to be Pilot of.  That's not a mistake, I did it on purpose.  To make you wonder and maybe suffer a little.

I have not decided if this story should be in any way connected to "Victim-ized," hence the above choice.

2nd Note: FYI, "murasakige" does NOT mean "no one else," it means (as near as I can tell for now) "purple-haired" (murasaki = purple).  You can probably guess who I've heard it used to describe before I thought of this particular usage, and if you can't, I'd be glad to tell you.

Warning: There's no yaoi here.  Sorry.  The only fluffy moment occurs between Yamagi & Tukasa.  If you have no interest in that, you should probably stop now.

Also, I wrote this fairly quickly, sorry if it seems rushed, but that's because it was…

Summary: Yamagi has finally become a Pilot, but is shocked to learn that Tukasa has resigned as his Repairer.

Murasakige

or

No One Else (if you don't like the first one…)

By Nate Grey

(xman0123@aol.com)

He bit into the apple with more force than he'd meant to, and the juice dribbling down his chin was his punishment.

Scowling slightly for no real reason at all, Yamagi wiped his chin on his sleeve and glared thoughtfully at the table across the room from him.  If he concentrated, he could almost see the late-eighties Candidates (save for Hiead) gathered around the letter as Zero read aloud from it.  It had been so much better that way at the time; no one could give voice to Erts Verny Cocteau's words better than Zero, for no one else KNEW Erts like Zero did, and it sounded more convincing and more real (as most things did) coming from him. 

He shook the memory away and bit savagely into the apple again, trying to remember at what point he had deserved to be dead last.  Was it back when Hiead had very nearly broken him in half?  Or had he taken it easy on Roose one too many times?  Maybe the top brass had just compared him to Zero and found the glaring difference in their abilities.

Damn Zero and his…perfectness.  Damn Hiead and HIS perfectness.  And damn Roose for merely getting some of Zero's perfectness to rub off on him at precisely the right moment.  Clay was the only one he couldn't think of a reason to hate, but even Clay had been far too bright.  He was sure to have a future doing something halfway interesting.

Meanwhile, Yamagi was the Top.  Not that it meant ANYTHING at all without the others being there.  It was pure process of elimination and nothing more that had gotten him that rank.  Sure, he WAS better than all the other Candidates.  But only because he wasn't supposed to be there.  All the other late-eighties had moved up or on, but he hadn't.

And he was utterly alone.  There was Saki, who, for some reason, had not been assigned to another Candidate, but hadn't been made to leave, either.  And…Tukasa, but Yamagi didn't really consider her a friend, exactly.  More like an associate…someone he had to work with merely because she freaked him out and it was someone's idea of a very tasteless joke.  Needless to say, he didn't find it funny.

"Number 86."

Yamagi glanced up, and then rose to his feet, realizing the gruff voice addressing him was his Instructor.  He saluted, more or less out of habit.

Azuma stared down at him in the usual way, which indicated that Yamagi was either a permanent thorn in his side, or perhaps an awkward stepson that couldn't be gotten rid of.  "Yamagi Kushida.  I hereby report your appointment as a Goddess Pilot."

Yamagi did not move, nor did he react at all.  He continued to look at Azuma, waiting.

"The shuttle to GIS leaves in half an hour."

Yagami nodded, almost imperceptibly.  "I'll get Tuka-"

"There will be no need for that," Azuma interrupted.  "Repairer 86 just handed me her resignation moments ago."

By then, a small crowd of boys had gathered around them.  The ones that thought they knew Yamagi best were already predicting what he would say.  But none of them was quite repaired for his reaction.

"WHAT?!" Yamagi roared, leaping forward and nearly dragging Azuma over the table with surprising strength.

Rather than be angry, an amused grin appeared on Azuma's face.  "Your Repairer has resigned.  The Repairer of the former Pilot has been assigned to you."

Yamagi glared at him, silently fuming, before letting go and storming out of the cafeteria.

Azuma watched him go with an odd smile.

* * * * *

Tukasa was seated on her bed, her hands folded neatly in her lap.  

She honestly was not certain how her partner would react to her resignation.  

Although she was secretly pleased when she heard all the commotion outside of her room.

"Let…me…GO, Saki!  Where is she?!  She's in THERE, isn't she?!  MOVE!!!"

There was a sound that resembled a body crashing into the door, followed by a boot kicking the door before it finally opened.

Yamagi strode in with Saki clinging desperately to his neck, trying to tug him right back out of the room.

"TUKASA!" Yamagi shouted just before spotting her.  For some reason, he quieted down at the calm look she gave him.

Tukasa made a slight motion with her hand, and Saki released Yamagi and backed out of the room they shared, closing the door behind her.

Yamagi's anger swiftly returned as he tore something out of his shirt pocket and tossed it into her lap.  "What is that?!"

Instead of answering, Tukasa carefully smoothed out the crumbled paper, as if it were a sacred document.  It was, of course, her formal resignation.

"Well?!" he sputtered after a moment.  "Are you going to tell me why?!"

She looked up at him, wetting her lips before slowly answering, "You don't want me."

Confusion flooded Yamagi's face, making him look a lot like a scared puppy.  "What…?"

"You don't want me," she repeated, looking away, "as your Repairer."  He said nothing, so she went on.  "You have never said a single encouraging word to me, or given me any positive feedback whatsoever.  And I heard you."

"…heard me?"

"You were forever saying how you wished for another Repairer to the other Candidates.  Now you'll get one.  One that better…suits you."

Yamagi's mouth worked, but he could produce no sound.  What was he supposed to say?  That he hadn't meant those cruel things?  That he'd only been kidding around with the guys?  Somehow those excuses seemed so childish that they were beyond him and Tukasa both.  And he had a strange notion that he should be telling her the truth right about now, since he might never see her again.

"Tukasa…I…"  He stretched out his hand uncertainly, meaning to comfort her or…do anything to keep that frightening, unfeeling chill out of her voice.

"You're a Pilot now."  She gently but firmly seized his wrist and ran a device over it.  The black, stylized 86 vanished, leaving little more than a tingly sensation.  "And I am no longer your Repairer."

He could feel her pushing him away, as he'd done to her so many times, and it scared him.  "Tukasa, please!" he almost whimpered.

She looked up at him.  "Yes, Yamagi-san?"

That was the final blow.  Ever since the day Roose had first called him "Yama-san," Tukasa had picked up on it and decided to use it as her personal pet name for Yamagi, never calling him anything else.  

But no more.

It was happening too fast.  Yamagi wanted to go back, to rewind, but it was too late.

"No…NO!" he cried, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her up off the bed.

Tukasa's neutral expression did not change.  She seemed confident in the knowledge that Yamagi either would not or could not bring himself to harm her.  She only had to look down slightly to meet his desperate gaze, and suddenly became aware of the growth spurt he'd had in the last few months.  They were almost the same height now…almost.

"You…why are you doing this to me…?" he asked weakly.

"To you, Yamagi-san?" she countered.  "I thought I was doing it for you.  Isn't this what you wanted?"

"You KNOW it isn't!" he yelled.

"What do I know, other than what you've told me nearly every single day we've been partners?"

"Tukasa, I didn't…"  He trailed off, searching her face for any sign of give.  "I don't…want you to resign."

"I already have," she reminded him calmly.

"Then…CHANGE it!  Take it back!"

"I couldn't, even if I wanted to.  There are rules about-"

"NO!  This CAN'T be permanent!" he shouted, shaking her.  "CHANGE IT!!!"

"Yamagi-san," she said severely.

"I…I'm sorry.  I just…I just want…"  There was something very like the start of a tear in his left eye.  "I need you with me, Tukasa.  Please?"

"I've told you," she said softly.  "You're too late; I've already resigned."

He let her go and backed against the wall, sinking slowly to the floor.  "You don't understand," he whispered.  "How am I supposed to DO this…without you?"

Tukasa sat down on her bed again.  "Yamagi-san."

"What?" he asked bitterly.

"Do you want me to accompany you to GIS?"

"No."  He buried his face against his knees.  "I want you to be my Repairer again."

Tukasa stared at her lap.  "There is a rule…" she began.

Yamagi looked up.  "A rule?"

"Generally, Candidates for Pilot and Repairer are considered equal partners.  However, there was an amendment made to the rule concerning the resignation of Repairers not long ago."  She paused to see if Yamagi was listening.  "A Senior Candidate may override the resignation request of his Repairer with little or almost no reason, so long as he formally states in a letter that he could not reach optimal performance without her."

"A letter to whom?" Yamagi asked after an entire second.

* * * * *

When Yamagi arrived to board the shuttle to GIS, Tukasa was waiting for him.  They did not speak, only stepped on together while the pilot packed up their belongings.  

Tukasa chose a seat near the back, and Yamagi sat immediately opposite her.  Other than the pilot, the shuttle was empty.

After they'd lifted off, Yamagi got up, moved across the aisle, and sat down next to Tukasa.

She did not turn to look at him.

"Okay, we're going to straighten out some things RIGHT now," he said suddenly.

Tukasa blinked and looked at him innocently.

"First, you can NEVER call me 'Yama-san' again.  You know my name, and I expect you to remember it."

"And what will you call me, Yamagi-kun?" she inquired.

"Isn't it obvious?  Tukasa, of course."

"Tukasa-chan," she corrected smoothly.

Yamagi's left eyebrow twitched, but he sighed in defeat.  "Fine.  No more of this 'making-big-rash-decisions-without-telling-me' crap, either."

"It was not rash.  I had planned to do it for some time."

Yamagi gave her an incredulous look.  "What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I was thinking," she replied calmly, "that you didn't appreciate, care about, or want me around, Yamagi-kun.  What was I supposed to think about the way you treated me?"

Yamagi took a deep breath.  "Tukasa…"  He rolled his eyes when she glared at him.  "Tukasa-chan."  She smiled and nodded for him to continue.  "I'm not…used to caring about people."

"You are," she said at once.  "You're just not used to admitting it to yourself or telling them you care."

Yamagi opened his mouth to speak.

"You know I'm right, Yamagi-kun.  But you can't treat me that way.  I'm your partner.  Your life is in my hands, and if I were anyone else, do you think we could've gotten this far with how you've treated me?"

"So what do you want?  An apology?"

"Not at all."  Tukasa crossed her arms over her chest.  "Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"That you care about and respect me."

Yamagi started to laugh, and then realized she might be serious.  "What, NOW?"

"Unless you want me to ask the pilot to turn around?  Yes.  Now."

He frowned at her and looked away.

"Maybe this will help."  Tukasa pulled off her pink gloves before reaching down and cradling Yamagi's hand in both of hers, as if it were some treasured object.  "Tell me, Yamagi-kun," she repeated quietly.

He almost yanked his hand away, but something wouldn't let him.  He couldn't remember the last time he'd willingly touched Tukasa, and was surprised at how warm her skin was.  He'd always imagined she'd be cold and clammy, as that was the impression she usually gave.

"I'm so sorry, Tukasa-chan," he began, only vaguely aware that the words were tumbling out of a mouth that was, in fact, his very own.  "I've been terrible to you, and I didn't realize how much I was hurting your feelings.  I do respect you, and…um…I…"

"…care about me?" she added helpfully.

Yamagi seemed to be keen on avoiding that first word.  "I guess I…kinda sort of…love you…"  His eyes widened in horror as her face lit up like a pale candle.  "But DON'T read too much into that!" he begged, wondering how his mouth had ever managed to come up with THAT word, which was ten times worse than 'care' could ever hope to be.

"Then I guess I kinda sort of love you, too, Yamagi-kun," she replied, pressing his hand to her cheek.

For some reason, he couldn't help smiling nervously, and resisted the sudden urge to stroke that soft cheek.  

"Murasakige," she murmured quietly, closing her eyes.

Yamagi blinked.  "What?"

She smiled at him, but did not open her eyes.  "Nothing, Yamagi-kun."

* * * * *

Dr. Kuro Rivould was a little surprised.  

Rarely ever did a Candidate submit or even know how to obtain the necessary forms to override a Repairer's resignation.  He'd assumed that not very many people knew about the amendment.

But, here were the forms, resting in his hands.  He shifted through them, his eyes traveling quickly over the words.  Finally, he came upon the quickly-scrawled reason the Candidate had provided:

"No one else will do."

He found that refreshingly amusing, and laughed softly to himself.

The End.


End file.
